I love this post haha. It reminds me of my last one, where I also talked about the role of luck in finding love. Maybe we’ll find it, maybe we won’t and we often forget that life happens in between 💛
It is true what you say, once you have experienced love or something close, & lost it, it is terrifying & lonely at first, you yearn for that feeling every time & anywhere you go.
Till we find that version of us when we were not so bogged by life & expectations, we must find the version of us that was free, before we used to think of having a life time partner was non negotiable.
As we accept & appreciate life, love will find us. We just need to forgive & love ourselves first.
It is a post which made me go through my emotions, for that, I thank you. It was lovely.
This is beautifully written. The expectation of waiting for a romantic partner to receive and experience love is saddening as if that’s the only meaningful way to receive love and affection. We should be pushing to deepen our self-love, familial, and platonic relationships because those are also meaningful relationships.
I always go on solo trips on my birthday, I treat myself to a concert/theatre show on Valentines Day and I buy the fancy expensive pasta for myself.
There's no one else (yet) who understands me the way I do, loves and respects me the way I do. Just because I am single doesn't mean I am lacking something, I am no longer looking for love, because I AM love.
I also understand it can be lonely at times even when we treat ourselves the best we can, but that's okay.
This is the best thing I have read on Substack. I love your writing, absolutely everything resonated. Woman are magic, there’s not enough magical men out there.
Painful and raw. I needed this today as am sitting with raw emotions questioning what if I’ll never find love or love will never find me. What it means to find a version of me that is free from the idea of putting myself out there.
Rendani, I’m so glad this resonated with you ♥️ It’s really tough sitting with those raw emotions and I struggle with it from time to time too. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from writing this, it’s that there’s comfort in knowing we’re not alone in these experiences.
"No one teaches you how to be alone. Not waiting-alone. Not for now-alone. But alone, as a state of being. How to be the only name on the lease, the only toothbrush in the holder, the only person in the emergency contact field."
💯
As much as being single can be confusing/frustrating, it is a sigh of relief knowing you're not with the wrong person either lol ... I'll take the wins wherever I can 😂
Omg helloo fellow SG girl!! I love that we connected here!!! Yeah. I totally relate to the checklists we have in sg, but it’s comforting to know we’re definitely not alone in this journey!
this topic is so especially pertinent to our geographical location where there’s so much pressure to “settle down” as a checkbox of achievement…. hais 😭
Yep,me too I always wondered:what if I’ll never find love or love will never find me?Or no one will pick me.Then what?What does it mean?Am I an outcast,an “no one wants me” person?Do I always have to feel embarassed when a friend,who’s married asks me:how come you’re still single?And they radiate with,”look at me I’m taken and you’re all alone!”thing.
If I say I don’t care,they’re like,no,you need to be with someone.It’s almost like an acusation,like something is wrong with you.
Mihaela, I hear you. It’s so tough when society pushes these predefined “ways of living” onto us. But the truth is, being single doesn’t mean we’re not loved or worthy. We’re already whole ♥️
If you're hearing this a lot from many of your friends, you might want to raise your standards for friends. My friends know that I'm alone because I won't settle just to have some random man in my life
This made me cry in a very affirming way, articulated almost exactly what I’ve been thinking a lot about recently reaching my late 20s without ever having been close to a serious relationship. Reading this felt like a big hug 🩷
I love this post haha. It reminds me of my last one, where I also talked about the role of luck in finding love. Maybe we’ll find it, maybe we won’t and we often forget that life happens in between 💛
It is true what you say, once you have experienced love or something close, & lost it, it is terrifying & lonely at first, you yearn for that feeling every time & anywhere you go.
Till we find that version of us when we were not so bogged by life & expectations, we must find the version of us that was free, before we used to think of having a life time partner was non negotiable.
As we accept & appreciate life, love will find us. We just need to forgive & love ourselves first.
It is a post which made me go through my emotions, for that, I thank you. It was lovely.
Thank you for your kind words; I’m so glad the post resonated with you ♥️
The pleasure has been mine Anjana
To say “as we accept and appreciate life, love will find us. We just need to…love ourselves first” totally contradicts what Anjana is saying.
Maybe love WON’T “find” us.
Maybe love will NEVER “find” us.
This is beautifully written. The expectation of waiting for a romantic partner to receive and experience love is saddening as if that’s the only meaningful way to receive love and affection. We should be pushing to deepen our self-love, familial, and platonic relationships because those are also meaningful relationships.
I completely agree Mara! Every form of love has its own beauty, and I think embracing that made my life all the richer ♥️
I LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH
I always go on solo trips on my birthday, I treat myself to a concert/theatre show on Valentines Day and I buy the fancy expensive pasta for myself.
There's no one else (yet) who understands me the way I do, loves and respects me the way I do. Just because I am single doesn't mean I am lacking something, I am no longer looking for love, because I AM love.
I also understand it can be lonely at times even when we treat ourselves the best we can, but that's okay.
Yea yes a million times yes Osheen!
Wow. This is what I came to this app for. I want to restack this many times, quoting many things. Thank you for getting it so right. 💛
This means so much to me Leisha, thank you ♥️
YOU ARE SPITTING!!!!! Also, how have we all dated the same man?
Right?! At this point, I’m convinced there’s just one man out there doing a world tour 😭
LISTEN lmaoooo. Let me off this ride.
These men go around on a conveyor belt so we women keep meeting the same ones over and over
Hey Anjana, your words resonated with me so much. It's a beautiful piece of writing with a beautiful ending. ♡
Thank you, Harneek ♥️. Here’s to each of us finding our own version of a beautiful ending, in whatever form it may take.
This is the best thing I have read on Substack. I love your writing, absolutely everything resonated. Woman are magic, there’s not enough magical men out there.
That means so sooo much thank you Amber! ♥️
Painful and raw and so true. With a little love note of hope at the end. Thank you.
Thanks for taking the time to leave this note Ellis, I appreciate it ♥️
Painful and raw. I needed this today as am sitting with raw emotions questioning what if I’ll never find love or love will never find me. What it means to find a version of me that is free from the idea of putting myself out there.
Rendani, I’m so glad this resonated with you ♥️ It’s really tough sitting with those raw emotions and I struggle with it from time to time too. But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt from writing this, it’s that there’s comfort in knowing we’re not alone in these experiences.
"No one teaches you how to be alone. Not waiting-alone. Not for now-alone. But alone, as a state of being. How to be the only name on the lease, the only toothbrush in the holder, the only person in the emergency contact field."
💯
As much as being single can be confusing/frustrating, it is a sigh of relief knowing you're not with the wrong person either lol ... I'll take the wins wherever I can 😂
loved this post! i saw the word hdb and got a pleasant shock HAHA so nice to know a fellow sgean brown girl is on here <3
Omg helloo fellow SG girl!! I love that we connected here!!! Yeah. I totally relate to the checklists we have in sg, but it’s comforting to know we’re definitely not alone in this journey!
this topic is so especially pertinent to our geographical location where there’s so much pressure to “settle down” as a checkbox of achievement…. hais 😭
Yep,me too I always wondered:what if I’ll never find love or love will never find me?Or no one will pick me.Then what?What does it mean?Am I an outcast,an “no one wants me” person?Do I always have to feel embarassed when a friend,who’s married asks me:how come you’re still single?And they radiate with,”look at me I’m taken and you’re all alone!”thing.
If I say I don’t care,they’re like,no,you need to be with someone.It’s almost like an acusation,like something is wrong with you.
Mihaela, I hear you. It’s so tough when society pushes these predefined “ways of living” onto us. But the truth is, being single doesn’t mean we’re not loved or worthy. We’re already whole ♥️
If you're hearing this a lot from many of your friends, you might want to raise your standards for friends. My friends know that I'm alone because I won't settle just to have some random man in my life
This is exactly my experience. Some where along the line I found myself living this beautiful, full, creative life. Alone.
This is soo beautiful, you've literally said the words that have been roaming in the minds of many people💛
Thank you for your kind words ♥️. There’s a unique kind of solace in realising we’re not alone in our experiences, isn’t there?
There really is🥹
This made me cry in a very affirming way, articulated almost exactly what I’ve been thinking a lot about recently reaching my late 20s without ever having been close to a serious relationship. Reading this felt like a big hug 🩷
Thank you for taking the time and writing this, it means a lot to me. Sending you so much love and a big hug ♥️